My Expedition (Sand)

 We went to expedition on Monday 13th 2012. The foods were absolutely delicious! The Underwater World was really fun. We get to feed fishes and even get to touch fishes. The sharks were enormous! At Koh Samet was also fun. We get to play in the sea and interview tourists. There are lots of little holes in the sand because the little crabs needs a hole for them to live in. The crabs crawled on my fingers and it was really ticklish. Talent shows were really fun! Most of us danced in the competition but some groups did drama or singing. On the last day we have to wake up a bit early to pack our things. After that we took a shower and brushed our teeth. The teachers will come to check our room after breakfast in case we forgot our things. Then we got on the bus and traveled back to Harrow.

Overall, I like the Talent show and when I’m at Koh Samet the most! I love the little crabs and the foods at Koh Samet. The talent show was also very fun! The boring part was when the boat ran out of petrol.

15 thoughts on “My Expedition (Sand)

  1. I agree with you in everything. It’s very well written. I think you just need to do a bit on the tense. Keep it as past tense!!! The rest is perfect!

  2. i liked how you explain you lovely journey to Koh Sammed, and how you enjoyed yourself… But it would be quite intresting if you wrote about some other events like the trip to koh Munnok the turtle sanctuary, koh munnai,etc
    i would have liked it more if you wrote about the ending.and what you did with your friends…
    Anyway keep up the good work i like your work it was fantastic

  3. Dear Sand,
    What a good writing! But you might include some bad part happened to you and maybe a bit more fun part because I’m sure there’s more to write about. And Samet should be changed to Samed but that doesn’t matter But it was a very spectacular writing so far!!

  4. Your tense is wrong and You should also try adding what you didnt enjoy as well. Overall your piece of writing was lovely.

  5. Some of you grammar is wrong, but still, it is fantastic!
    It could have been better if you explained your feelings more in detail,
    and maybe add a few more events.
    You might as well have wanted to put in some parts you disliked in the future
    when writing recounts.
    Anyway, this, is a great piece of work.

    Hye Yeon

  6. your writing is the same as everyone’s writing, very good! I agree with everything u say (not icluding the ocean world part 3:) (it was fine) )but your tense is a little bit weird you sometimes have past tense and sometimes you have present tense! if not for your tense, your work would be perfect! 🙂

  7. Good improvement but still some little mistakes such as the word ‘Get’, it should be got and the word ‘fishes’ it could be singular or plural so you don’t need to add the ‘es’ at the end. The rest is exceptionaly good.

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